- I had just recently sold my tiny bright blue VW Beetle which provided several same-sex proposals at stop lights. I've never been hit on so many times in my life - male or female - could be that I was also a bespectacled elementary school librarian at the time. All the signs were there... regardless, I needed a new car.
- I wanted a Ford Supercrew pickup, and Christy wasn't buying my crew cab logic. So a large SUV seemed like a good compromise so that we could stay married.
- It was large enough for family outings, skiing, surfing, mountain climbing, vert skateboarding, parkour, motocross, and all those other extreme sports in which I partake on a regular basis.
- It was black, shiny, and had pimpin' dubs on it! It represented a lifestyle away from dirty diapers, mid-life flab, and the oncoming responsibility of life as a father. It was the kind of car that the bros from "Entourage" would use to carouse.
If you'd like to buy a 1999 GMC Denali, I am starting the bidding at fitty cent. Go Shawty... it's your Birthday...