Monday, November 2, 2009

Captains I Have Known

In one of my fever-induced dreams I was on a boat getting seasick and the ship's captain ordered me to stay in the ship's hospital under quarantine. I remember him wearing a ridiculous blue captain suit with gold braided epaulets. I know, hang in there with me, it's been a rough week... here's a post on captains I have known in my lifetime:

Captain Kangaroo - Believe it or not we used to watch an older guy with a toupee named Captain Kangaroo when we were little. His actual name was Bob Keeshan. I forgot about Mr. Green Jeans - one of my favorites from the show - a friendly handyman who used to stop by. This clip is from 1980 when they tried to resurrect his 30 year old show as the centerpiece of Saturday Morning cartoons.

Captain Kirk - 'nuff said. Shatner needs no introduction. Here's a good clip. Captain Kirk does a dramatic reading of the preamble of the Constitution to a bunch of guys dressed in fake fur with spears. Classic...

"The Captain" of Captain & Tennille - This band was a hit machine in the seventies. "The Captain" was the silent, talented musical partner in this pop duo. At the time, we thought nothing of his hilarious hat/sunglass combo. I guess captain hats were more standard attire back then. This clip from Don Kirshner's Rock Concert show is like packaging everything about the 70's into a little bottle.

Captain Crunch - Commander of the cereal universe, kooky leader, and all around deliverer of deliciousness, Captain Crunch has been in the background of culture for my entire lifespan.

Captain Caveman - A clear Scooby Doo template spinoff, Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels was an odd cartoon that ran from 1977-1980. Apparently, because of the three channels available on my TV at the time, I would watch anything.

Captain Stubing - The Love Boat was one of the cheesiest, but most beloved TV shows ever created. Looking back, I can't believe that we watched this schlock. It was essentially a big PR campaign for the "B" movie star of the month. Essentially, a bunch of story lines written exclusively for guest stars - Bert Convy where are you now!?! You can catch a glimpse of Captain Stubing at the :55 mark in this opening intro.

Captain Jack Sparrow - Depp's famous pirate is so good because he based his character on original pirate/zombie/rockstar Keith Richards. If you're a fan of the Rolling Stones, you know how good this is...

Captain Knuckles - If you haven't seen it, "The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack" is worth a gander. Twisted kids cartoons from Mark "Thurop" Van Orman, who used to work on the Powerpuff Girls as an animator. Knuckles and flapjack live on a fetid fishing dock in the middle of nowhere, and are in a constant quest to find "Candied Island". Uncomfortable humor, but really creative.

Ahoy Mateys!


Anonymous said...

This is one of the funniest things I've read. Or, maybe I'm in a fever induced coma. Regardless, I've known and loved the same captains ;)

Miles Inada said...

Hell yes, Cap'n. This is excellent. Proud to be your cabin boy.